Road to Surrogacy

As many of you know I have 6 babies at home and after baby sarah was born we choice to say WE are done

and both me and hubby made that done :)

After everything said and done I am happy with our family and ready to move one BUT thanks to few firends they got me thinking of surrogacy

so looking into it i am to old to give my eggs

and right now weight to much :(

After having a long talks with hubby

him asking hard ?

we both said that when my 5th baby is in school so i am not trying to run after two tots and been prego

i really feel the want to help someone who cant have babies

that my goal is to help

Yes you may think i am nuts

and that maybe 6 babies out my womb is good why risk it

but i try to live life with out regrets

I found a few companies that deal with this in Canada

and I have few years to look into it more so i am not getting knocked up anytime soon

my doula is supporting me wish means a lot to me that no matter what happen i know she will be there to help me

so right now I just pray for the further mom and dad that when i we meet

that i find a mom and dad open to non drug birthing

maybe even home-birth

now i just so you know that in Canada you can not BUY or give Surrogate mom money

so i am not doing this any of that

i am doing this because feel the need to help a mom and dad who want to be blessed like we have been

more infor plz look up http://fertilityconsultants.ca/

Budgeting help

Last year i step up and really starting taking congtroal of our family budget

so this year i want to share with you all of you

what i have leaded from it

i even learn how to used a scean video rec

to show you

plz be pantion with me

and my speling and typing again

and i have 6 stars now so life is upside down LOL

so here goes

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxtoU34nSY-VSE12VWt1Wm9RMkk/view?usp=sharing

and here is video to go with it

Not forgetting my lost stars

Now been 10 weeks always make me think how lucky to be hear

befor my 1st star was born, we had lost 2 stars that not made the 9 week mark

i was on bed rest for both spoiding way to early

I felt like i was lossing them alittle every day

i was young and new to motherhood, all i wanted was to hold a baby

greatfull i had good dr who put me off work after i lost babies to go through the pain

it was dark and hard place but me and alex changes things around and move to chilliwack to be with family

leaving abbotsford behind us.

then baby sammy was on his way :)

with my 2nd star i never really told anyone about baby becuse it was not looking good or it was to good that something was to go wrong feeling

but i felt more alone after it happen becuse no one really knew about what i had to go through

i told my self i would never hind a baby and firends are there to support you in Joyness and saddness

Even after 5 heathly stars i still worrried no stop what if…..

TO my lost stars Hope and Patience

I Love you

Dear Mom

Dear Mom

 

Hay its me natalie, I can’t talk to you any more because your not with us any more

but I can always remember my 1st call after finding out i am pregnant was to you,

No matter what you always cry happy tears for me.  Not sure if i could got through the 1st year with Sam or even the 1st year with isaac

You gave me many lesson in life so i can teach them to my kids thank you for that.

 

A few weeks ago I found i was going to have one more baby.  I could not do want i normal do pick up the phone and call you, tell you Mom I am going to have baby, i could hear your tears of joy and happiest, I miss that missing the fact you say I can do this. Missing your support when I know some people will not be so supported. You always back me up no matter what.  Seen I found that baby is coming Melody non stop talking about you, asking ?? about and what you did. That you teacher to cook and that you help her play.

I know you did not like your middle name but i think its time a baby has part of you. If we have girl her name will be Sarah Agnes Smusiak

I can see you know LOL and get mad but i know your happy

so dear mom I love you and miss you right now

love  Natalie due_in_june_cards-rb0779cfe035d475593aa7fb03e6bc3b5_xvuak_8byvr_324

 

Pipe dreams

Do you ever have pipe dreams that you want to do in live

i have many

some need more schooling

some need more money

some need just whatever never going happen

dreams for my kids, hoping we can give them all there pip dreams to

or the tools to get on the right track for pip dreams

when i was in hight school they wanted us to pick our job and stay with it

well i pick a job and went to collage

but i am not doing it now

and learn it was not for me and my dreams

i know all in timming things will get done but with the passing of my mom so soon

make me really think how inporten my dreams are

which once i really want to do and why

what step do i need do to

for now i wait for a lot of stuff to happen

never give up is my 1st step :)

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grass is green over there, but be happy for your grass

i many dreams in life, go back to work, own a house, become a doula, become a midwife, become RMT, get alex off nights, get a better van, the grass is always greener over there, then i look at what i am doing, stay at home mom, van works great, alex works hard and we always have roof over our heads, with my own Edu of birth i can help firends on FB (my sister called it a digital doula, when my firends where asking about labour help, when i was there), taking baby step to go back to school,

so happy for my green grass :)9287848113_0344fe0328